I've been recently accused of allowing my blog to become moldy. Great things become even better with age, however I'm sure you are all tired of seeing my hockey story. Since not much is happening in my life currently, I've scoured the Internet for lame, pointless fluff with which to fill my blog.
I’ve always heard that the criminal element is not always the smartest demographic, these stories prove this to be very true.
Dumb Criminals
Kansas- A man was charged with holding up a shoe store. He stole about $70 in shoes. At
his trial the man showed up wearing the boots he stole, with the tags still on. He was found guilty and the shoes were returned to the store.
Scarborough, England- A totaled Ford was found at the bottom of a 100-foot cliff in 1996. No sign of the driver was found, just a pile of human feces on the driver’s seat. (OK, no dumb criminal but funny!)
During their lunch hour, several employees of a large aerospace company decide to rob a bank. The group figured the police would never look for them at the plant. Of course, being dumb criminals, they forgot to remove their ID badges during the robbery.
A would-be robber carefully entered a bank. He tripped on the step, causing his mask to fall off. His foot got caught under the doormat, causing him to slide across the floor to the counter. Staggering to his feet, the dazed and confused man waved his fake gun and said “This is a stuff-up!"
Here are a few laws the dumb criminals need to be aware of.
Strange Laws
Minnesota- It is illegal to mock skunks—how do you even begin to mock a skunk?
Ohio- It is illegal to sell beer while wearing a Santa Claus suit, even if you are a dog.
Seattle - It is illegal to sell lollipops. Suckers are fine—well, now we know!
Virginia- All bathtubs must be outside, not in the house.
Toronto - It is illegal to ride a streetcar on Sunday after eating garlic.
Cleveland - It is illegal to capture mice without a hunting license.
Arizona- It is illegal to hunt camels—oh snap!
Kentucky- It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket—what about your purse?
Louisana- It is illegal to rob a bank, and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.
Indiana- It is prohibited to bathe in the winter.
Kentucky- You must take a bath at least once a year.
Alaska- It is illegal to look at a moose from a flying vehicle.
Atlanta-it’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Idaho- It is forbidden by law for one citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds—that should be illegal everywhere!
Miami- It is illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown—again, that should be illegal everywhere!
Connecticut- It is illegal to walk across the street on your hands—let me try!
Avignon, France- It is illegal for a flying saucer to land in the city—you gotta park it outside the limits.
Maryland - It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio—again, should be illegal everywhere!
Texas - It is illegal to milk another person's cow—that’s just common courtesy, right?
My dad always said he knows nearly everything. Here are a few things even Dad didn’t know.
Useless Trivia
The felt tip pen was invented by the American C.I.A. in an attempt to make a poison pen. The poison would not flow through a fountain pen.
The television series Bonanza was created specifically to provide a product for RCA's new color TV sets.
The Mac-Restaurant’s term secret sauce was created during the Cold War , in order to help discontinue the use of the term "Russian" dressing.
Audie Murphy, the most decorated veteran of WWII and Texas native was 5'5" tall 110 pounds
Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles PER YEAR
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
The parachute was invented by Leonardo da Vinci in 1515
Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)
A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't
Hugh "Ward Cleaver" Beaumont was an ordained minister.
Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed, and continue living—so can Catawba worms
A cow produces 200 times more gas than a human (per day)
The only planet without a ring is earth
Kansas- A man was charged with holding up a shoe store. He stole about $70 in shoes. At
his trial the man showed up wearing the boots he stole, with the tags still on. He was found guilty and the shoes were returned to the store.Scarborough, England- A totaled Ford was found at the bottom of a 100-foot cliff in 1996. No sign of the driver was found, just a pile of human feces on the driver’s seat. (OK, no dumb criminal but funny!)
During their lunch hour, several employees of a large aerospace company decide to rob a bank. The group figured the police would never look for them at the plant. Of course, being dumb criminals, they forgot to remove their ID badges during the robbery.
A would-be robber carefully entered a bank. He tripped on the step, causing his mask to fall off. His foot got caught under the doormat, causing him to slide across the floor to the counter. Staggering to his feet, the dazed and confused man waved his fake gun and said “This is a stuff-up!"
Here are a few laws the dumb criminals need to be aware of.
Strange Laws
Minnesota- It is illegal to mock skunks—how do you even begin to mock a skunk?
Ohio- It is illegal to sell beer while wearing a Santa Claus suit, even if you are a dog.
Seattle - It is illegal to sell lollipops. Suckers are fine—well, now we know!
Virginia- All bathtubs must be outside, not in the house.
Toronto - It is illegal to ride a streetcar on Sunday after eating garlic.
Cleveland - It is illegal to capture mice without a hunting license.
Arizona- It is illegal to hunt camels—oh snap!
Kentucky- It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket—what about your purse?
Louisana- It is illegal to rob a bank, and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.
Indiana- It is prohibited to bathe in the winter.
Kentucky- You must take a bath at least once a year.
Alaska- It is illegal to look at a moose from a flying vehicle.
Atlanta-it’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Idaho- It is forbidden by law for one citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds—that should be illegal everywhere!
Miami- It is illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown—again, that should be illegal everywhere!
Connecticut- It is illegal to walk across the street on your hands—let me try!
Avignon, France- It is illegal for a flying saucer to land in the city—you gotta park it outside the limits.
Maryland - It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio—again, should be illegal everywhere!
Texas - It is illegal to milk another person's cow—that’s just common courtesy, right?
My dad always said he knows nearly everything. Here are a few things even Dad didn’t know.
Useless Trivia
The felt tip pen was invented by the American C.I.A. in an attempt to make a poison pen. The poison would not flow through a fountain pen.
The television series Bonanza was created specifically to provide a product for RCA's new color TV sets.
The Mac-Restaurant’s term secret sauce was created during the Cold War , in order to help discontinue the use of the term "Russian" dressing.
Audie Murphy, the most decorated veteran of WWII and Texas native was 5'5" tall 110 pounds
Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles PER YEAR
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
The parachute was invented by Leonardo da Vinci in 1515
Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)
A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't
Hugh "Ward Cleaver" Beaumont was an ordained minister.
Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed, and continue living—so can Catawba worms
A cow produces 200 times more gas than a human (per day)
The only planet without a ring is earth
I will remind you that I've asked for suggestions for my blog....I prefer the ideas be stories that Mamma can read and be proud of. Just remember, while I wasted my time compiling this, you are wasting yours reading it. Happy wasting! :P 2 U chaz!
Until next time when I will hopefully have more cerebral information to share, or at least some new pictures for showcasing.
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