Who Needs Resolutions

Every year at this time millions of Americans, as well as people in other countries, celebrate the beginning of a new year as a chance to begin their life anew. Starting over is appealing to many people, and after the things I’ve endured I can understand why people are drawn to fresh starts.

Resolutions, popular as they are, can become dreadful. People make the mistake of creating resolutions they cannot keep and when they fail at these resolutions, they become guilt stricken and usually increase the activities they were attempting to delete from their lives.

Here are some of the most popular resolutions, and why I won't make them.

Get fit, Eat right , Lose weight— These were three resolutions but I count them as one because one is about as likely to happen as another. I don’t want to waste money on new clothes, if I get fit and eat right then I will lose weight and have to buy new clothes. NO THANK YOU.

Pay off debt—why bother, it keeps accumulating. I think I will get a new credit card, maybe one with my real name on it. I will try to keep my current debt down but paying it off is useless.

Quit drinking—that’s no fun. Life is better with a clouded head and beer goggles.

Save money—this is contradictive to paying off debt unless I am saving money at a Half Off Sale, then I am saving at least 50 percent, right.

Get a better job—OK, this is pointless because in six months I will have formed the same opinion about a new job as the job I currently have. I think I’ll keep my vacation time, my insurance benefits and my crazy co-workers, not to mention my crazy work schedule.

Get a better education—I am already schooled in life, what could be a better education than that. I’m so smart I could be a Double Naught Spy.

Quit smoking—I’ve already accomplished this. I will say you’ve got to die of something, for me its apparently obesity, diabetes or heart disease but not from smoking.

Read more—Television is so much more entertaining, at least it will be when the writer’s strike is over. I’ve missed a lot already. Reading makes me think too much which leads to headaches.

Quit procrastinating—I’ll start this one tomorrow.

Become organized—If I clean up and put things away, IE organizing, I will not know where anything is. Right now, my life looks cluttered but I know how to find anything. I need. That’s my secret, I appear disorderly. I may give this a try, but not today (see Quit Procrastinating).

Until next time.