BUSHISMS

I thought with all the political talk that has been going on, I would take some time to reflect on some of the most profound moments of President Bush's term.

Please, don't misunderstand. This is not to be considered an attack on the president. I enjoy humor, and find it in the strangest of places. I have been told my sense of humor is quite wicked, others think its non-existent. I just laugh at them.

Here are some "Bushisms" and my thoughts on the subject.

“give my chance a plan to work."— April 24, 2007—Well, Ok then.

"Trade is an important subject here at Caterpillar, and the reason why is because a lot of the product you make here, you sell to somebody else, sell overseas to another country. That's trade. And yet it's—it's a topic of hot debate."— Jan. 30, 2007—Economics 101, right?

"And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life's moving on, that they're able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table."—Jan. 16, 2007—I put my money in the bank, he puts his on the table.

"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone."—Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006—Do you really ever know what your history will be?

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three—three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"—Showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006—What’s more interesting, that he read three or four books or that they were really Curious George books?

"I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president."—Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 1, 2006—Just to be clear, that hasn’t happed yet, right?

"You took an oath to defend our flag and our freedom, and you kept that oath underseas and under fire."—Addressing war veterans, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2006—I guess some of them were underseas in submarines.

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."— Nov. 28, 2005—Can you say, “DUH?”

"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."— June 29, 2005—YUCK!

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."—April 28, 2005—Are we protecting those who would harm us?

"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings. ... "—Dec. 10, 2004—What kind of religion does he practice again?

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Sept. 6, 2004—I must remember to interview new doctors.

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."— May 27, 2004—Is George hiding something from America?

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."— May 25, 2004—What is he shaking again?

"[B]y the way, we rank 10th amongst the industrialized world in broadband technology and its availability. That's not good enough for America. Tenth is 10 spots too low as far as I'm concerned."— April 26, 2004—Is this some of that new math?

"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."— Jan. 23, 2004—Although his wife instituted the No Child Left Behind Act, its too late for George.

"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter."— Jan. 22, 2004—Quick, someone notify PETA!

"I'm the master of low expectations."—June 4, 2003—Everybody’s got some kind of talent.

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."—June 14, 2001—Is there such a thing as new geography?

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Feb. 21, 2001--How profound. I guess if you teach them to fish, they will be able to fish?